The Science of Zombie Survival
Scenario: You must survive a George A. Romero film. You get to choose which one though: do you take refuge in the barn from Night of the Living Dead, or do you risk a mall stakeout like Dawn of the Dead? Science has proven one of these hideouts to be more affective than the other. No, it has nothing to do with the time of day in the title. Its all about physics.
A LiveScience article
recently applied the findings of Italian physicist Davide Cassi to the rate of survival of the living dead. Cassi’s research examines “the survival probability of immobile targets annihilated by random walkers.” While the article doesn’t specifically mention zombies, the “random walker” variable could easily be applied to the undead. They have no brains, therefore they will always walk randomly. His conclusion?
“Cassi found that the likelihood of survival when threatened by predatory random walkers is closely related to how complex the prey’s hideout is. The more twists and turns, the safer you’ll be. In structures that are highly complex and irregular, the chances of the predator coming into contact with its target shrinks down to almost zero.”
So, if you plan on camping out for very long, you’d better go with the mall. You have less of a chance of running into the enemy. You’ll also have a lot more supplies at hand. Be sure to ravage the food court and hunting supplies store first. With science on your side, you just might find a way to survive. Good luck!
Wow! Good to know! Who knew surviving Zombie attacks could be so scientific and calculated? If I’m ever in that situation, I’m totally going to Jordan Creek. There are about a million places to hide out there. Also, I’m curious if you’ve seen the movie Zombieland yet. I haven’t, but it seems like it would be right up your alley. Maybe you could do a review on your blog to let us know if it’s a worthwhile flick.
I’m going to see it over break. Don’t worry, I’ll definitely write a review of it next week!
This is great! I love that you included science and didn’t just tell me which option is safest in a witty way (though that would’ve been fun too). I’m with Emily-we’re going to Jordan Creek! Is there any information on what zombies are most interested in? Other than humans? Say, what’re a malls top ten zombie destinations? And are there any that they might shy away from (for scientific or humorous reasons)?
That’s a great question. Unfortunately, since zombies don’t have thinking, rational brains, there’s really nothing they won’t avoid. Vampires are scared of garlic and sunlight. Zombies have no nerve receptors, so they can’t experience pain. That means they’re not scared of anything. Your best bet is to station yourself in either a hunting store or a tool shop. That way you have plenty of weapons around. (Don’t worry, the zombies aren’t smart enough to use the tools on you.)
I can’t believe you found a scientific technique to surviving Zombies! I have no love for Zombies like you do, but I would certainly take your advice and go to, er, Jordan Creek? Ah, forget it you guys. I’m going to Mall of America. Maybe, hopefully, Zombies don’t like roller coasters.
Mall of America would be perfect. Zombies, I imagine, would hate roller coasters. They might try them, but I doubt they’d finish in one piece.
hahaha!
I can’t believe someone actually did research like this. Pretty amazing
The mall! Who would have thought. I’m glad I know how to survive that scenario now!!
Whew, thank goodness you told me this–I’ll put it down on my list of one more reasons why I should visit the mall over break!